Christopher Moore is the New York Times bestselling author of A Dirty Job and You Suck. In February 2009, his eleventh novel, Fool, will be released. A comic retelling of King Lear from the point of view of the court jester, Fool is full of all the wit, humor and pathos of Moore's best work.

Whether writing about death, whales or the missing years of the life of Christ, Christopher Moore brings a unique, intelligent and comedic voice that millions of fans around the world have grown to love. Carl Hiassen says, "Chris Moore is a very sick man in the very best sense of the word."

Michael Spradlin is the author of more than a dozen books for children, some of which have actually been published. His newest novel, just released, is The Youngest Templar: Keeper of the Grail. Full of action, adventure, and stuff blowing up, it was called by Meg Cabot, "Adventure quest at its best!"

Friends for years, the two authors interview each other in this exclusive essay for Borders. An unlikely alliance you say? Christopher Moore and an author of YA and Middle Grade novels? Not so much. Read on and see why.

Chris Moore: So, I assume you did a lot of research about the Middle Ages. If you could switch one aspect of modern society with medieval society, what would it be? (And don't say lusty wenches, because I called that one.) You can have like, plague or heretic burning or something.

Mike Spradlin: You started me off with a tough one, especially since you stole lusty wenches. I love history, but I've never been one of those who say "Gee I wish I lived in 1103! Those were some rocking times!" I like having air conditioning.

At first I was leaning toward heretic burning, but if I had to choose, I would say we switch out guns and keep swords. How cool would it be if everyone walked around today carrying a sword? No gunfights, no drive buys, no accidental discharges.

Sure, maybe there's some accidental limb severing. But how cool would it be if you were walking around the mall and all of a sudden a huge sword fight broke out? Or the police took down a secret drug gang and instead of bullets flying everywhere, there were swordfights and cops and criminals swinging on ropes and stuff. How hard would it be to rob a 7-11 with a sword? Personally, if everyone joins the National Sword Association, and carries a sword, I see crime going way down.

Chris Moore: If you could go back in time and be the Michigan Yankee in King Arthur's court, what two things would you take with you? (And don't say a toothbrush and a shotgun, because I called those.)

Mike Spradlin: Aha! My dentist says flossing is even more important than brushing. So I'm taking a roll of dental floss. And a magnifying glass. Or a rat trap. Dang it! I can't decide!

Chris Moore: There have been a lot of books over the last five years or so about the Knights Templar. What's up with those guys?

Mike Spradlin: I call the Knights Templar the Hell's Angels of the Middle Ages. They were pretty tough. I think what makes them so fascinating is two-fold. One is the mystery surrounding their founding. They went from being a poor, obscure monastic group to arguably the most powerful and influential military order in the Christian World almost overnight. How did that happen?

The second reason has to do with how they were destroyed by King Philip of France. They were condemned as heretics and he had most of them tortured and then burned at the stake. Philip and his cronies in the church put out all kinds of wild accusations of devil worship, heresy, you name it. And every historian has an opinion about why he did it. Mine is he was broke and just wanted their dough.

Chris Moore: Fool takes place in medieval England and I found that there were a lot of things about the Middle Ages that I had to ignore (like sanitation) or the story would become completely distasteful to modern readers. Did you find yourself glossing over certain details to appeal to your audience?

Mike Spradlin: My audience would probably love the sanitation parts! There are definitely some things you leave out. I tried not to be too graphic in my battle scenes but still give a sense of the desperation and savagery that men fought with. There's a reason the period I'm writing about and you wrote about in Fool ended up being called The Dark Ages. It was by large measure a truly horrible existence.

From the diary of Seth, the Middle Ages Serf: "This morning I aroseth to worketh in thy fields. Cuteth off toe with scythe. Ateth burned bread and gruel for dinner. Wenteth to bed on tick infested mattress."

Next Day "Woketh up. Toe is itching and burning. Also it smelleth funny. Worketh in thy fields. Was caught by local shire reeve and bailiffs for back taxes. Jailedeth. Went to sleep...."

Chris Moore: You've written for both young adult and elementary school readers, is there a difference in how you approach the story? Do you have to educate your audience about the setting and the era, or can you kind of assume they know the time you're talking about?

Mike Spradlin: The one difference is that the elementary kids are usually shorter than teenagers. I think if you're writing historical fiction you need to give readers a sense of place and setting. Whatever your audience, it's important to establish the world your characters are living in. I think it's easy to underestimate kids though. They're a lot smarter and more sophisticated than we give them credit for.

I don't consciously try to give history lessons in my books. I attempt to be as accurate as I can about the setting, events and the period but the focus is always on the characters and the story. Face it: If readers don't love and care about the characters, all the period details in the world won't matter. In The Youngest Templar I tried to give readers a sense of life inside the Knights Templar, but at its heart it's a ripping adventure.

Chris Moore: Okay, you're going off to the Crusades. What weapons do you want to take? You get to pick two.

Mike Spradlin: My first choice would the F-22 Stealth Fighter. You could really mess with people's heads in the Middle Ages with an F-22 Stealth Fighter. "Roland, my God was that a giant demonic bird that just flew by!?" "No Petrie, that's the new F-22 Stealth Fighter I just read about in Popular Medieval Mechanics Magazine. Darn it! Sound retreat!"

My second weapon would be a cane with a sword inside. I'd be walking along and when enemies approached and see the cane, they'd be all "He's crippled! Let's take him down!" But I'd whip out my sword from inside the cane and they'd be all "Okay, totally didn't see that coming, this guy is like some middle-aged ninja or something." After that they probably call me a witch for my hidden sword cane weapon and burn me at the stake, but not before I caused some serious damage with said cane sword.

Chris Moore: Okay, let's say you're a soldier under Saladin, during the Crusades. What's you're favorite thing to kill Crusaders with (and don't say, the weather, because I already called that one.)?

Mike Spradlin: If I have to use a medieval weapon, I'll stick with what worked and that would be a scimitar. Only I'd ask my scimitar guy to make mine extra long because the Crusaders used a lot of lances which are way long and tend to hurt a lot and mess up your internal organs when you're impaled by one. To compensate for the extra length, I'd also invent aluminum earlier so it could be bonded with the bronze and make the scimitar lighter and easier to swing. Then I'd be in the middle of a battle and some Crusader would be all over confident because he'd think I'm tired and my scimitar is too heavy to swing, but then I'd say "AHA! I invented aluminum this morning! Big surprise Mr. Dead Crusader Guy! I love this job!"

If that didn't work, I'd try beans.

Chris Moore: So, if Saladin had dune buggies, but the crusaders had trained T-Rex's, who would win?

Mike Spradlin: I ran a lot of simulations on this, but there are just too many variables, the most important being the top end speed of the dune buggy. This would be completely dependent on its engine size and horsepower. Some scientists speculate a T-Rex's could run up to forty miles an hour over short distances, so if the dune buggies max out at 35 mph in the thick sand, Saladin is toast. But if they can go faster, they just outrun the T-Rex's. However, I would submit T-Rex's would be very difficult to train and extremely unreliable. If they saw their food driving away, they'd be royally ticked and probably turn on the Crusaders and eat them. So I'm with Saladin in squeaker.

Chris Moore: You have a girl in your book who is an Al Hashshashin warrior. She carries two daggers and even though she is young and pretty, she is badass. 'Splain please.

Mike Spradlin: Al Hashshashin translates to "The Assassins" in English. In reality they were mercenaries and some historians say at times they were even occasionally in the employ of The Templar's. They were extremely badass as you call it. My character Maryam is a member of Al Hashshashin and she teams up with Tristan, the hero, to help him safeguard the Holy Grail. She kicks butt. I like my girl characters to be all about the girl power and I tried to live up to that in The Youngest Templar with Maryam.

Mike Spradlin: Chris, you've written about whales, coyotes, vampires, demons, fruit bats, lust lizards, hellhounds, giant talking valkerie thingys and other assorted creatures. Take three elements from any of your characters and construct your perfect predator. (And don't say Dogman because I saw that on Monsterquest on the History Channel this morning and I'm totally calling that one.)

Chris Moore: Well, of my characters I'd go with part Steve, the sea monster from The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove because he can change his appearance and camouflage himself like in the Predator movies. For strength I'd go with the Hellhounds from A Dirty Job, because they are indestructible and can eat nearly anything, including Volvo parts, and finally I'd have to go with the senses of my vampire Jody from Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, who can see heat and life force, hear fog, and smell fear coming off someone. That combination would make a pretty awesome predator.

Mike Spradlin: You've also covered Death and the missing years in the life of Christ in your books. In Fool you take on Shakespeare in a comic retelling of King Lear. Your fans know that you do a tremendous amount of research for your books. Do you feel there was one nugget of information you uncovered that really added to the story? Even if it was just in a single scene?

Chris Moore: Early on I learned that jesters or fools were of two types: one type was the bright, smart aleck type who could speak "truth to power," as well as tell stories and jokes, but there were also "naturals" who were dwarves, giants, or people we'd call developmentally challenged now days. Naturals were thought to be "touched by god." Once I learned about that, I gave my fool, Pocket, who is the quick-witted type of fool, an apprentice, Drool, who is a giant doofus. I think the relationship between the two turned out really funny—sort of like Lenny and George in Of Mice and Men, except the little guy doesn't have to murder the big guy in the end. (Sorry about the spoiler if you haven't read that one.)

Mike Spradlin: Do you want to give fans an early clue as to what you're working on next?

Chris Moore: Sure, I'm writing Bite Me: A Love Story, the sequel to You Suck, my last San Francisco vampire book. I didn't want another twelve years to go by between books and I kind of left the ending to the last one open.

Mike Spradlin: Do you have any rejected titles for your novels that you now wished you'd used? Or do you have any titles that are great titles but you can't figure out how to put a book with them? I have one of those: There Should Have Been a Presbyterian at the Meeting. Great title, but no book!

Chris Moore: I originally wanted my book The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove to be called Munching Wackos, because it's about a sea monster who feeds on people with mental illness, but my editor at the time nixed the idea. I often take rejected book titles and use them as chapter titles. Our Lady of the Fishnet Stockings was one I wanted for one of the books. One I don't have a book for is called Don Quixote of the Miniature Golf Course.

Mike Spradlin: Last question. A dream fight scenario. Pick a human character from your book and a human character from any movie. In a cage match who wins and why?

Chris Moore: In any scenario like this I have to pick Molly, my insane, retired scream queen from The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove and The Stupidest Angel. In her less healthy moments, Molly thinks that she's Kendra, Warrior Babe of the Outland, and she behaves appropriately. I think she could definitely take Sarah Connor from the Terminator Movies or Jerry Maguire (or any other tiny character, like Dobby the house elf.). Although it would be a toss-up with Juno, because Molly is vulnerable to plucky sarcasm.